Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hardest day of my life

I would have to say today was one of the hardest days of my life. I mean I didn't cry when my mother had heart surgery. But my own baby under the knife? You can bet your sweet keester that I did. I held strong until we got in the van to come home and I just lost it.

We got up right around 8am for her to eat her only meal for the day. She could have milk until 10:15am. Then clear liquids until 2:15pm. Her surgery was schedules for 4:15pm

She amazed me with how good she was. She played around in the first waiting room. Then played with the toys in the other room while we waited. She patiently let people touch her and hold her. Then she got sleepy and napped a while. Then it was time for happy meds after waiting for 2 hours. She made the nurses day by talking and being all silly. Then came the hard part.

I had to hand her over to a complete stranger and tell her bye. Those that know Meredyth know how much she takes in and understands. So I had already told her what was going to happen and she seemed to accept it.

The wait was the most horrible thing I've ever had. The doc calls me back for consultation. The surgery went great. The hole in her abdomen was bigger than he expected. Then more wait. I just wanted my baby back!!!

Finally I was allowed to go back to her. She was very happy to see me. I almost couldn't hold back the tears then. There was a hitch in her breathing from her screaming when she came out from under anesthesia. And she was so hoarse from the breathing tube. So we got all of our release info and was able to come home.

When we got home, Memaw and the rest of the gang was waiting. Meredyth impatiently waited for her "Maw" to hold her. Memaw was fixing cookies. Memaw sat with her for a bit and tried to feed her. Memaw had to go but we had bedtime prayers first. The big kids went to bed and M snuggled in for a sleep.

She woke to see daddy. Ate a few cereal bars and drank a little. She talked to us a bit. She decided to stretch out for the first time this night and went back to sleep. She woke a bit when she smelled mommy eating chocolate. She ate a few bites and went back to sleep.

She is comfortably asleep in the Pack n Play in the living room. I wasn't sure how good she'd sleep tonight so I thought this would be best. This way I'd have quick access to the fridge for drinks and the recliner for cuddling if needed.

Praying for an easy night and rest. Tomorrow may be a long day.